Contrition: Prerequisite for Pardon
Nobody can obtain pardon for a sin he does not regret because contrition is a prerequisite for pardon. In other words, nobody can expect pardon who keeps on sinning because he has not understood how much his sin offends God. Consequently, he does not cast off all liking for the sin in question. We must abhorr sin deeply so that repentance can bring about a true change of mind and heart. If we do not see what was reprehensible about our behavior, our attitude, our deed, we are still hardened sinners. Contrition describes the breaking up of something hard or unyielding. Without contrition, there cannot be a true, lasting change of behavior, attitudes, deeds. The swept and empty house will welcome in seven more demons and the latter state is worse than the former.
“Since it is requisite for the remission of sin that a man cast away entirely the liking for sin which implies a sort of continuity and solidity in his mind, the act which obtains forgiveness is termed by a figure of speech ‘contrition’.”
St. Thomas Aquinas
But what about forgiving others their trespasses?
Forgiving someone on our part is a different thing. We can forgive another his trespasses without him repenting of said trespasses, as when Jesus calls us to turn the other cheek, or go the extra mile, or hand over the cloak along with the tunic. In such cases, we do something for our own soul: We avoid wrath, and choose humility and forgiveness instead. Thus, the other person’s sins do not become a stumbling block to ourselves. Instead, we prove ourselves true disciples of Jesus who do what the Master Himself did, even from the cross.
Coals of Fire
Now, forgiving someone can do something good for the other’s soul. Our behavior might cause a change of mind or heart – “coals of fire”, you know. But neither is this, nor should this be our motive for doing what is right in the eyes of God. We cannot make people repent of anything. This they must do themselves: Everyone must repent of his own sins first for contrition is the prerequisite for pardon.